Days of ordinary Italian madness
by wwwHistorychannel.Hetalia
Summary: Slices of Italia life through the eyes of the Vargas brothers. AU, humans names, OC, set in 2006/2007. Sorry for the mistakes in the previous version.
1. Chapter 1

My first ff in English, be patient.

Slices of Italian life through the eyes of the five (I used both the male and female versions of the two Italies, plus a fan-version of Vatican City) Italian (here Roman) brothers, from the February of 2006 to the summer of 2007

Hetalia, its character and ecc. ecc. are not mine.

Use of OC

The episodes aren't my invention, but first/second/third-hand experiences with little changes to adapt them to the story. There will be – probably – comments about politics, protests, and – more in general – about events occurred during the period in which the story is set. No offence is intended.

Final notes: vocabulary, official characters of the series, list of OC (minor characters you don't have to remember and who aren't important), Chiara's timetable

_Italics: Italian_

Normal: when under the speeches in _italics_, if between the dashes, the translation of the speech.

Days of ordinary Italian madness

27/02/2006

"_Permesso!"_

The girl jumped off bus, nearly getting stuck between the closing doors. Her boots had no heel, but the tip-tap on the sidewalk was still noticeable, also in traffic of the morning. Catching the pole of the orange road-sign outside the school with the left hand, she used it as if it had been a hinge and she a door, turning around the corner at full speed. She glanced at the clock of a chemist's shop: 8:02.

_Merda._

She accelerated, her bronze skin flushed for the speed and the cold wind. _Dannato inverno_. Finally, she reached the entrance of the school, were few students were still laying against the wall, waiting for the bell to ring, something she couldn't afford; not on Monday. In the hall, she dribbled a janitor on the right, then a group of boys on the left and almost stomped on her math teacher. She flew away with a

"_Scusi prof!"_

-sorry, teacher!-

only to be stopped by the wall on the opposite side of the main door. Pushing herself away from the white surface, she used the kinetic energy of the movement to gain speed and continue her run against time. The sound of fast army boots on the left notified her the presence of Marta; her suspect was immediately confirmed by a

"_Ah... dannato... lunedì... mattina... tardi... anche... tu?"_

-Ah... damn... Monday... morning... late... you... too?-

Chiara answered with a scowl. Her classmate did exactly what the other's gaze suggested, quickening her pace. After an eternal stair, they reached their classroom, pushing violently the door and risking to rip the poster Fede did during an English lesson, on which she had written in big letters what the little label at the top of the door already said:

II L

The additions of Claudia, Sonia and Marco covered in fluorescent colours the few remaining white.

"_Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'intrate!" Inf., III, 9 Muhahahaha!_

-abandon all hope, you who enter here! Hell, III, 9 Muhahahaha!- (evil laugh)

And

"_Attenzione: qui sono detenuti elementi mentalmente instabili. Entrate a vostro rischioe pericolo. P.S.: il cibo li distrae: se entrate, portatevi dei cornetti farciti e lanciateli, vi daranno qualche minuto di vantaggio per fuggire."_

-attention: mental unstable elements are detained here. Enter at you own risk. P.S.: food distracts them: if you enter, bring with you filled croissant and throw them, they'll give you few minutes of advantage-

Without forgetting

"_Vietato l'accesso ai tifosi della Lazio. La violazione sarà punibile con lapidazione, defenestrazione, tortura e grida di scherno."_

-Access forbidden to Lazio's fans. The infringement will be punished with lapidating, defenestration, torture and jeering-

Their classmates jumped at the sudden noise, scared it might be the infamous Pescarelli, the Greek teacher and the cause of the II L's Monday morning stress; once recognized Marta and Chiara, a little choir of "Ciao!" raised from the twentytwo...

No, wait.

"Where are the others?"

The older of the Vargas brothers asked, while throwing her backpack on her desk and unzipping her coat. A malicious smile of Rebecca, sat on the desk at her left, and the hidden laugh of the other three girls around her made her shiver.

"What happened yesterday?"

Becca answered, and Chiara looked at her with an interrogative expression.

"Mmhh... the Derby?"

The four girls in front of her nodded together, the same thrilled light in the eyes.

"I don't know if you watched it-"

"I had to. Two brothers and a granpa, remember?"

She omitted the part in which she and her two sisters wore voluntarily a t-shirt of the team and cheered for it, insulting the referee (also if innocent) with the brothers and the old man. Becca and the others nodded again, encouraging her reasoning. And after a second, something clicked in her brain.

Seven ownerless backpack.

Marco, Beppe (Giuseppe), Nino (Riccardo Ninucci), Salvo (Salvatore), Massi (Massimiliano), Lio (Aurelio) and Mic (Michele), the only male members of class, weren't there.

_La Roma,_ the day before, had won the Derby against _Lazio_ (2-0).

"_La Gorgone_" (alias Pescarelli) was, as everyone know, a fan of the S. S. Lazio. The reason why she was called "the Gorgon" was because she was a terrific merciless bastard in everlasting menopause.

The boys' genetic idiocy, around the age of 17, reaches a level of stupidity that could be perfectly mistaken for a death wish.

_Oh, cazzo._

She looked at her laughing classmates, her desperation and desire of being wrong clear on her face. But no one contradicted her.

"Please, tell me they aren't-"

"Sorry, they are!"

Ignoring again the raising laugh, she collapsed on the chair, hitting willingly her head against the hard wooden-like material. A cranial-trauma would have been a good alibi against the accusation of being accomplice of that insane project. God only knew what they were up to.

And what the Gorgon would do to punish them all.

Ehi, wait a sec...

"Where is the Gorgon?"

She asked it aloud, hoping someone knew the answer. Ino (Elena Cardini, but a lot of people in the II L watched Naruto...) answered, without turning her head or stopping copying the homework for Latin, which had to be ready for the third hour.

"Arguing with her locker in the teacher room. Lio had messed up all the keys, so the teachers are all there trying to find their own. Maybe this will be the time they'll learn to bring them home and not let them at school"

"I think they can't, since the lockers are property of the school and stuff" Barbie (the sad destiny of being baptized with the name Barbara) observed with her Tuscany-accented voice, half listening to them speaking and half reading _La Repubblica._

Thinking about it, Chiara realized two or three of the classes she had passed few minute before had the door open and no teacher inside; moreover, there were more guys in the passageways than usual (also for a Monday morning).

The chit-chatting was violently interrupted by the irruption of a couple of yellow-red anthropomorphic being.s After a first shock, the eighteen girls inside the room burst into laughter. Beppe and Salvo wore the uniform of their team, and they would have been perfect photocopies of their Sunday-afternoon gods, if it hadn't been for the clown's yellow-red wigs, the yellow-red stripes on their faces and the flashes of madness in the eyes. The retarded duo was followed by a taller version of them – Nino – who wore a jolly-hat in spite of the wig and was carrying a big half-open box. She could see a yellow-red decoration popping out of it.

"Hey, class representative... shouldn't you do something?"

Sara could be a real pain in the ass, sometimes.

"My duty is speaking with the teacher if something doesn't work and taking part at reunions of the class representatives, not babysitting you!"

Her acid reply didn't pass unnoticed.

"There will be a lot to speak about, in the next days..."

It was Marta's turn to play with her nerves.

Exactly while Chiara was standing up to attack the poor girl at the jugular, Salvo put an arm around her shoulder.

"Then? What do you think?"

With the free arm, he pointed the ceiling with the same solemn expression of the father of Simba in "the Lion King", when Mufasa told him that he will inherit everything: Lio was hanging the decorations, using a chair in precarious balance over a desk as stair. Meanwhile, Nino was doing the same show of "this will be yours" with Barbie, the other representative. Noticing that the two female had made eye-contact, the two showman winked theatrically each other, gaining the laugh of their public, a terrified look of Barbie and a muttered menace from Chiara.

"What do you think you are doing?"

She spoke slowly, in a low and intimidating tone. But, as already said, boys around 17 years are brainless idiots, who are too stupid to have even a minimum preservation instinct. The five (Mic had arrived too) smiled, their eyes bright of foolishness. With an ironic tone of consolation, Nino patted her on the shoulder

"Don't worry, Chicca. We have aaaallll under control."

She palm-face herself. The last famous words. Could it go any worst?

"The first and third L are with us, as second and third M and the second C"

Yes, it could.

One thing she learned, after four year in that cage of fools: if you can't stop them, just follow them.

"Mh... So, what're we gonna do?"

The entire class screamed and clapped the hands, as if they were waiting for her to let them do it. Barbie was on the verge of crying.

"That's what I wanted to hear!"

Nino hugged her bear style, while Lio run to the door and moved his hands in the air, probably some kind of signal for the first and third L and the third M, which were on their same floor. She didn't even have the time to think about the possible meaning of it, that a girl – no need to say that she was dressed as Totti – rushed in, bringing with her a tray. Also if it was covered by paper tissues, the smell spoke clear: _cornetti e bomboloni_.

"Give me a minute and I come with the other! Uh... Who had to bring the coffee?"

Chiara didn't need further explanation. Breakfast-party. And not during the break, but the first hour – for them, Greek, probably suggested by her dement classmates, just to irritate the Gorgon. _Che cretini_.

"Marta, put the chairs away... yes, in the corner. No, six desk in the centre of the room, the other against the wall, as usual... Mic, those coats over the desk on the left"

If they had to be fucked, she wanted the thing to work, at least.

"Hei, we still have... a packet of Girelle and... Woha, a whole Panettone! Who left it there! ? !"

Teresa emerged from the mountain of posters, gym-bags (bleah...), toilet paper (no comment, just say it was decided by the principal) and empty packets and boxes. She moved just before a yellow-red maniac had the brilliant idea of pushing all the desks of the left wing – starting from the first row – against the wall at the bottom of the room (the desks had been disposed in pairs, four rows and three columns that they began to call "wings" since the history lesson about the choice of the words "right wings" and "left wings" for the parties), without paying attention at the possible victims (Roberta's leg was trapped between her desk and Marco's).

"Is it still closed?"

"As new, Chicca!"

The Koala's (alias Teresa) eyes were sparkling, which was the reason behind the name "Koala": that little girl, tall less than a meter and sixty, could eat an enormous amount of food without gaining a gram of weight, and exactly like a koala, she was little, cute, and loved sleeping. During classes. And her notes weren't affected at all by this. Damn bottomless genius.

"Marco brought two bottle of coke and Lio... something else, I don't remember"

That's what happen when you left to a boy a woman's work (especially if this boy is Nino).

At this point, the anarchy ruled the class. Fortunately, their only neighbours were the stairs and a laboratory, or they would have been fucked. Well, there were two classes, in front of them, but they were the third L and M.

While helping Becca in disposing the yellow-red (yes, yellow and red: Lio wasn't the history of art's teacher's favourite for anything) handkerchiefs in the centre of the big table created placing side by side six desks, she took a glimpse of two yellow-red shirts who ran in and immediately out.

"Coffee?"

She asked.

Marco turned with a bright smile splattered on his face, the yellow thermos in his hand as the derby's cup.

"Here"

She took a quick step on the left, catching the little plastic glasses Lio had threw her just a second before they fell on the ground. Giving him one of her killer-glances, she imitated his movements, arranging the glasses in a big circle, stopping now and then to let others put the food on the table. Anna had managed – somehow – to cut the panettone, and had disposed the pieces on the plastic dishes decorated with little snowman, reindeers and Christmas trees. The coke was already open, as for the chinotto. Massi seemed worried for the milk, since the room was warmer than a fridge, while Sara scream every two second to tell that no, the teacher wasn't coming.

Eventually, when everything was ready, the thermos passed from a hand to another, filling each little glass for less than a half; the milk took care of the rest.

Half an hour later, food and drinks had disappeared, the janitor who was supposed to tell them that the teacher would have come later had been bribed with a _bombolone_, and Sara was lazily sat on the stairs with Martina and Giulia.

"She'shereshe'shereshe'shere!"

The trio jumped and rushed into the room. The Gorgon, together with the Religion teacher and the English one, appeared at the top of the stairs, fuming, and the boys' kamikaze plan came at the final act.

"_SALVE PROOOFFF!"_

The scream of more than sixty teen-ager scared the shit out of them, and judging by the colour of his face, stopped the hearth of the poor English teacher for a bit. Horrified, the Gorgon stepped inside, and two yellow-red clowns hugged her.

"WEEE WOOOOOOON!"

Her expression was priceless

Probably, the only thing that kept them alive during the afternoon, while translating six whole Greek versions.

Final notes

Vocabulary

_Merda: shit

_Dannato inverno: damn Winter

_Prof: diminutive for "professore" (male teacher of middle/high school or university) or "professoressa" (female teacher of middle/high school or university).

_Cornetti e bomboloni: Italian version of croissant and krapfen

_Girelle: a kind of snack

_Panettone: a Christmas' dessert

_Roma and Lazio: the two soccer team of Rome. The first one's colours are yellow and red, its symbol is the Capitoline wolf, and it has the name of the city. S.S. Lazio's colours are white and cerulean, its symbol is an eagle, and it has the name of the region. The Derby, in this case, is the Rome Derby. Check on Wikipedia for more information about it.

_Totti: Francesco Totti, captain of the Rome soccer team. A legend of the Italian soccer.

Characters

_Chiara: 17 years old (nearly 18). Fourth year of a _Liceo Classico_ (main subjects: Italian literature, Latin and Ancient Greek). Only in this kind of Liceo the years are numbered in a different way: firs year is fourth gymnasium, second year is fifth gymnasium, third year first liceo, fourt year second liceo (Chiara is in II liceo, section L), fifth year third liceo.

_Lovino: 17 years old (nearly 18). Her twin. Fourth year, _Istituto Alberghiero_ (I didn't find any satisfying translation; it's a professional institute where you learn how to cook, serve in restaurants...)

_Feliciano: 15 years old (nearly 16). Second year. _Liceo Artistico_: an art school with more hours dedicated to the general studies as foreign language, history, Latin...

_Serena: 15 years old (nearly 16). His twin. Second year. _Liceo scientifico_ (main subjects: math, science, chemistry, physic... since it is a liceo, she has to study Latin and Philosophy too)

_Maria (the fan-profile of Vatican City I found on Wikia): 13 years old (nearly 14). Third year of middle school. She's in the middle of the "what-school-do-I-choose?" crisis.

_Romulus: over 60. Their grandfather; he adopted them 8 years before, when their parents died. Owner of a little company.

OC: Chiara's classmates

Antoniani Sara (Sara), Buratti Isabella (Isa), Cardini Elena (Ino), Colasanti Massimiliano (Massi), Conte Marta (la Conte), Crocefisso Salvatore (Salvo), De' Rossi Barbara (Barbie), Donato Anna (Dona), Fabrizi Martina (Marti), Fino Teresa (il Koala), Girondino Claudia (Cla), Montani Giulia (Giu'), Ninucci Riccardo (Nino), Pianalto Aurelio (Lio), Quagliolo Rebecca (Becca), Quattri Federica (Fede), Ripamonti Giuseppe (Beppe), Schiarioni Marco (Marco), Severini Caterina (Cate), Stoppani Carolina (Carol), Tomei Michele (Mic), _Vargas Chiara (Chicca),_ Vita Alice (Ali), Wu Sonia (So').

And since I want to fill this page...

... Chiara's timetable!

_Monday: Greek, Greek, Latin, Latin, Science (8-13)

_Tuesday: History of art, History, English, Science, Religion (8-13)

_Wednesday: P.E., P.E, Italian Literature, Italian Literature, Mathematic, Physic (8-14)

_Thursday: History, Latin, Latin, Mathematic, Science (8-13)

_Friday: Physic, History, Philosophy, English, Greek, Greek (8-14)

_Saturday: Philosophy, Phylosophy, History of art, Italian Literature, Italian Literature (8-13)

... more or less like mine, only with Greek and Latin in spite of German and Spanish. Well, I had Latin too, but less hours of Mathematic, Physic and Science.

Thank you for reading :)

HCH


	2. Chapter 2

Second chapter of my first ff in English, be patient.

Slices of Italian life through the eyes of the five (I used both the male and female versions of the two Italies, plus a fan-version of Vatican City) Italian (here Roman) brothers, from the February of 2006 to the summer of 2007

Hetalia, its character and ecc. ecc. are not mine.

Use of OC

The episodes aren't my invention, but first/second/third-hand experiences with little changes to adapt them to the story. There will be – probably – comments about politics, protests, and – more in general – about events occurred during the period in which the story is set. No offence is intended.

Final notes: vocabulary and information, Lovi's classmates, apologies.

_Italics: Italian_

Normal: when under the speeches in _italics_, if between the dashes, the translation of the speech.

Days of ordinary Italian madness

Chapter 2:

6/3/2006

Feli rolled under his blankets, restless. Something had woken him up, but in that drowsiness state, he couldn't identify the cause. The cold? No, it felt so warm under the covers: he was hidden under them as a soon-to-be butterfly in its cocoon. The alarm hadn't rung yet, then it wasn't the clock's fault. The neighbours? It could be...

If his four brothers had been able to read his mind, they would all palm-face themselves, his grandfather included. Why this exasperated reaction to such a reasonable question?

Simply, because it was the same question he had been asked himself for the past four years. And what was the answer, you may ask?

Lovino, turning the house upside-down, looking for his uniform.

"Yahwnn..."

Serena came out from her room, yawning, rubbing her eyes with her thin fists.

"Lovi, what are you looking for?"

She asked, with a dizzy expression on her face. On the contrary of her twin, she was perfectly aware of what he was going to reply, yet she asked it: it was part of their morning ritual. He glanced at her, scowling irritated, moving immediately his gaze away, too occupied in is hunt.

"My... "

He looked under the sofa's pillows.

"...fucking..."

He checked in an open gym-bag over a chair out of place.

"... uniform!"

He screamed while going out of the room, to continue his search in his (again).

Meanwhile, Feli had entered in the kitchen, where Serena was putting the coffee powder in the moka. His butt had nearly made contact with the chair, when his older brother rushed in, still chasing the damn thing. In the time he had reached the fridge (in a desperate attempt to find the uniform and taking the milk for the breakfast), Chiara and Maria had appeared on the threshold. The little one sat, while the older opened a drawer to set the table with their six placemats. Lovi's was white, with various kinds of tomatoes, each one with its name (_San marzano, Cuore di bue_,...); on Feli's was printed a breakfast, with a plate full of crumbs and stained of purple marmalade, a crumpled paper handkerchief and the mark of a wet cup; Serena preferred a Tokidoki one (with a picture of Tokidoki, that is); the grandpa had bought one with a book cover of Magnus and Bunker, from Satanik; Chiara's had a quote from a Pirandello's play, on a "refined" (it was a plastic placemat, after all) white-grey background; Maria had chosen a Cucuxumusu's one, bought when they had gone on holiday in Barcelona. Once placed them, she reached the cupboard, putting the raspberry marmalade on the table, together with the Oswego for Maria, the packet of Pandistelle for Feli and Lovi, Kellogg's chocolate puffed rice and a Yomo coffee yogurt for Serena (she put the yogurt in a pot, then add the rice and mix all together), two pieces of the bread of the day before (they were in a packet on the counter), Philadelphia and the vase of the sugar for her (she preferred that creamy cheese to the butter, something that the old man didn't understand: how could she put sugar on cheese? Replying saying that Philadelphia wasn't like Emmental was unuseful) and the Abbracci for the grandpa.

As usual, Lovi was still running here and there when the last member of the family came in, with the white shirt and pants Lovi was looking for.

"_Cercavi qualcosa?"_

-were you looking for something?-

Lovi grab them and run to the living room – where he had left the gym bag – before the other could even end his short question, putting his poor clothes in the bag without too much care, together with the white shoes and cap he needed for the cooking lessons. Meanwhile, the milk Serena had put on the stove had got warm, the water in the Bialetti boiled, and the coffee rose inside the little machine. Serena switched off both the stove and grab the moka, pouring the hot brown liquid in the six cups, already filled with milk by Chiara.

Lovi looked at the clock.

6:30

_CAZZO!_

He swallowed five biscuit and drank his _caffelatte_ (Feli had added two little spoons of brown sugar while his brother was closing his bag) without even sit down, then rushed in his room, wore a pair a jeans, a white t-shirt with a horizontal neckline and a black v-neck pullover. He hurried to the door, while enlacing his black gym-shoes. Once reached his goal, he put a grey scarf around his neck, the keys near the entrance in his bag pack and the bus ticket in the right pocket of the coat: if the weather had been better, he would have gone to school with his scooter, but it was shitty out there, and according with the news of the evening before, it was going to rain. Just before opening the door, he remembered of his uniform, and ran back to the living room, feeling like an idiot, since he was the only one running, while the other five were lazily having breakfast (well, it was _his_ fault if they woke up half an hour or more before they had to).

"_Ciao, ci vediamo stasera!"_

-bye bye, see you this evening!-

He answered with a snarl and precipitated down the stairs, nearly knocking down the main door, and the old lady who lived at the low ground "muttered"(she was deaf, so her "mutter" was what a common person call "scream") at his lack of manners.

He had just taken a step out of the building, when the cold 5°C degree air assaulted him, with the strength and the violence of an angry pit-bull. Unfortunately, he couldn't kick the air and ran away as he would have done with a dog, so he continued walking, till he got to the bus stop, direction Trastevere. Since the school began at eight, why that poor Christ woke up at 6:30? Because an hour and a half was exactly the time he needed to reach the other side of the city by bus.

7:47

Saying "he got of the bus" wouldn't be correct. "He was pushed out by the crowd of students" was a better description of what happened him six mornings per week. Once crossed the institute entrance with the rest of the herd, he wriggled out the mass and ran to the changing room, welcomed by the suffocating smell of male heat and chlorine.

"_Bon, adesso che sei arrivato tu, manca solo l'altra metà della classe."_

-okay, now that you're arrived too, only the other half of the class is missing-

"_Aho, se non se movono, Porchetta ce fa'n culo come'n casale. C'abbiamo pure i menù da da' pe'lla verifica della settimana prossima"*_

-If they don't arrive soon, Porchetta* will fuck us all. We have to give the menus for the exam of the next week too-

Samu's (Samuele Alberti) voice was muffled by is t-shirt, in which he was trapped (his head was pretty big).

Lovi threw carelessly his bags on the third bench.

"_Oh, sentita l'utlima?"_

-Did you hear the last news?-

Sandro (Alessandro De Bernardi) could be worst than an old gossip.

"_Si, ieri ce semo fatti scappa' du o tre occasioni pe' 'nfilargli 'n altro goal. Ma che ce vo fa'..."*_

-Yes, yesterday we let slip two or three occasion to sign a goal again. But want do you want to do...-

Lovi – as the rest of his classmates – had never been able to tell when Andrea (Andrea Scardovi) was only being ironic or when he really meant what he was saying.

"_Ma piantala! Parlo dell'Eli, cretino! E' vero c'ha piantato Mario? No, pecché volevo provarce..."*_

-Ah, stop it! I'm speaking about Eli, idiot! Is it true that she broke up with Mario? Because I want to give a try..."

"_MA FARTE 'NA MANICA DE CAZZI TUOI, MAI EH?"_

-Ehi, minding your own business, never?-

Eli's voice (Elisa Venturi, one of the nine girls of his class) reached their room through a little grating at the top of the wall which divided the two changing-rooms; usually, they pay attention when speaking, knowing that the girls could hear them. Sandro – as all of them, he had to admit it – thought that no one of them had arrived yet.

"_Eddai, che stavo a scherza'..."*_

-Ehi, I was joking...-

But the disaster had been made, and it couldn't be fixed.

"_Se, come no... tanto pensato sempre a quello, voi!"_

-As if you don't think always about _that_!-

Eli wasn't alone. Alì (Alice Torri, but with her size and _physical abilities_, Alì suited her more than a simple "Ali") – probably the most unwomanly woman on earth – was with her.

"BURP!"

Ciampi (Eugenio Ciampoli) burped, heavily, with special sound and smell effects. The applause was a must. Meanwhile, Lovino had changed his clothes and folded them, being careful of putting them in a part of the bench where no one would sit on: he knew his classmates well enough to be familiar with their chronic distraction, as well as with the countermeasures necessary to come back to the changing-room finding his pullover and t-shirt still in decently conditions.

Eventually, they all stop laughing, girls included.

"_Oh, sentite questo!"_

-Listen to this one!-

Alì screamed, just a second before emitting the loudest, longest, strongest and most disgusting burp ever heard by human ears. They even did a Mexican wave, while clapping their hands.

Twenty minutes after Alì's performance, a little army of twenty-two white-dressed boys and girls entered in the big kitchen, where Porchetta (as they called Manuele Occhiofino, their cook teacher) was waiting for them.

"'_giorno prof..."_

-morning, teacher-

They greeted him absently, but he didn't mind.

"_Oh, ve la sete presa comoda, eh? Vabbè... stateme a sentì, che non c'ho vojia de dirve che dovete fa' du' volte..."*_

-you took your time, eh? Whatever... listen to me, I don't want to tell you what you have to do a second time-

Ben and Sandro, who were just behind Lovi, began chatting in the very moment the teacher began assigning the tasks. Vargas tried his best not to snap, since Porchetta was getting nearer and nearer, but patience had never been one of his best qualities. Unfortunately, Virgi's deep and naturally ear-splitting anticipated his.

"_EH STATEVE ZITTI 'N ATTIMO!"_

-shut up!-

Porchetta didn't take it well, and as teacher usually did, in spite of punishing the only one screaming and the two motormouths – in the doubt of risking leaving a culprit without an adequate castigation – he included Fede and Lovi in the group, assigning them the most ungrateful chores.

"_Li mortacci tua..."_

Lovi mumbled, without listening at Porchetta's word until he heard his name.

"_Vargas e Parvisieri... voi mi preparate la salsa tonnata. Mi raccomando, bella soda, eh?"_

-Vargas and Parvisieri... you prepare the tuna mayonnaise. It has to be firm, okay?-

They both groaned. The only thing worst than that, was the polenta. The boy glanced at Fede's slim arm: letting her mixing the damn mayonnaise (they had to prepare it before adding the rest) would have been an act of pure cruelty – if not of sadism.

"When we have to blend it with the oil, you pour it"

She widened her eyes and smiled from ear to ear, restraining herself from hugging him. Staying with the arms rose for more than thirty minutes (always if it didn't curdle and they have to begin again) pouring the oil was nothing compared to mix the damn mayonnaise.

"Thanks, Vargas. But I'll take care of the rest, okay?"

He frowned.

"Sure as Hell you'll do it. I don't think I will be able to move my arms for the rest of the day"

She giggled, and her partner grinned.

"_S'AVETE FINITO DE CHIACCHERA'..."_

-if you had stop chatting...-

The Porchetta staring at them. They start immediately, before the teacher could add another word.

Final notes

Vocabulary

*: those sentences are partly in _dialetto laziale_ (dialect of Lazio; what I wrote, is more an Italian with a very thick accent of Lazio and some expression they use there). I wrote this note just to warn those who want to try translating the Italian sentences by themselves (because it's full of people who want to learn Italian, out there...): don't discourage guys!

Moka and Bialetti: you probably know what a moka is; if you don't, to put it simply, it's a coffee machine. Bialetti is the main and first brand of moka, and sometimes it's used as synonym.

Porchetta: a "dish" from Emilia Romagna. Basically, it is pork meat. You'll understand better the irony behind the nickname if you make a little research on the net.

Andrea and Luca: in Italian, they are male names.

Tuna mayonnaise: salsa tonnata. Sorry if I didn't write the whole recipe, but it was too boring. They are preparing it using mayonnaise too, so, if you want to find the recipe, write also mayonnaise (I don't know in English, but when you look for "salsa tonnata" in Italian, you found only the versions without mayonnaise).

Pan di Stelle: a type of biscuits of the brand "Mulino Bianco".

Abbracci: another type of biscuits, not only of the "Mulino Bianco", but I prefer them.

Oswego: a brand of biscuits. They are pretty simple, but hard to describe.

Yomo: a brand of yogurt

Philadelphia: a brand of cheese, very creamy. I eat it on bread and sugar, my mother with pears, my father on pan carré with _salame_.

Tokidoki and Cucuxumusu: designers. I don't know if he does placemats too, though.

Satanik: an old Italian comic of Magnus and Bunker.

Uniform

Schools – even the private ones – don't use uniforms. The one Lovi was looking for was – as you've had already understand, I suppose – the one he has to wear while cooking. He has a second uniform for the "service lessons" (sorry for the poor translation: in these classes, pupils are taught how to welcome guests, behaving in a restaurant/hotel/..., organize events, ecc... ecc...), essentially the outfit of a waiter in a proper restaurant.

Alì: she does exist.

IV B

Lovino's classmates:

Alberti Samuele (Samu), Barresi Claudio (Cla'), Bucciano Nicola (Nic), Chilanti Eleonora (Ele), Ciampoli Eugenio (Ciampi), Corvisieri Laura (Lalà), De Bernardi Alessandro (Sandro), Di Matteo Francesca (Fre'), Ermoli Silvano (Silvio), Gallo Alessio (Ale), Govoni Virgilio (Virgi), Martini Luca (Luca), Mazzacurati Benedetta (Ben), Mesti Davide (Davi), Parvisieri Federica (Fede), Rivosecco Martina (Marti), Scardovi Andrea (Andre'), Serra Rosa (Rosa), Spardella Lorenzo (Lollo), Torri Alice (Alì), Vargas Lovino (Vargas), Venturi Elisa (Eli).

Apologies: mistake in the last chapter. Do you remember when you read the list of Chiara's classmate, and you didn't find Roberta? I wrote the roll-call (_l'appello_) again:

Antoniani Sara (Sara), Buratti Isabella (Isa), Cardini Elena (Ino), Colasanti Massimiliano (Massi), Conte Marta (la Conte), Crocefisso Salvatore (Salvo), De' Rossi Barbara (Barbie), Donato Anna (Dona), Fabrizi Martina (Marti), Fino Teresa (il Koala), Girondino Claudia (Cla'), Montani Giulia (Giu'), Ninucci Riccardo (Nino), Pianalto Aurelio (Lio), Quagliolo Rebecca (Becca), Quattri Federica (Fede), Ripamonti Giuseppe (Beppe), Schiarioni Marco (Marco), Severini Caterina (Cate), Stoppani Carolina (Carol), Tomei Michele (Mic), _Vargas Chiara (Chicca),_ Vita Roberta (Robi), Wu Sonia (So').

Thank you for reading! I hope it wasn't too boring...

_Alla prossima!_

_HCH_


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